My Quest for Femininity: The Secrets For Unleashing The Feminine Energy Within

My husband used to complain that living with me was like living with a man. I have to admit that I was raised like a boy since young. I grew up in a girls’ school and we were taught to be independent, to function and problem-solve like a man. I think these are survival skills to equip us to be effective and efficient workers to secure a job but not necessarily to secure our marriage. It was not hard to see why my husband felt that I was too masculine.

So, when my sex therapist asked me to dial up my femininity, I had no clue of what he meant!? Like what? Wear less and show more skin? Put on make-up? Get a boob job? He said, “No no no, being feminine does not require you to wear sexy clothing, does not require you to be young or busty. You can just ooze it out.” Wow, that is really deep. I felt like he was speaking to me in Mars language. I had been so disconnected with my feminine energy that nothing really made sense to me.

So, my quest for my femininity began. I observed every woman who passed me by every day. Disappointingly, a lot of them wore very little, but it seemed like they were flaunting more than anything. Then, I observed TV and movie stars. A lot of them have pretty faces and hour-glass figures but none seemed to possess that feminine quality I was looking for until I laid eyes on Meryl Streep! She is a brilliant woman and an outstanding actress. At her 70s, she can look into the camera confidently, half-naked and smiled. I saw that feminine energy oozing out from her! Wow, amazing!!! But I am no Meryl Streep…sigh...so my quest continued.

At the same time, I was exploring self-care activities and I found BELLYDANCING!! I met Nadia Sensei and Nashwa Sensei in my bellydance journey. Both are professional bellydancers and amazing teachers. They stand out from other teachers in that they didn’t just teach me how to move my body or shake my hips, they taught me to appreciate the beauty within me and to unleash that side in me. I felt really clumsy and uncoordinated whenever I moved or spun. But somehow, somewhere in me started to click and I felt joy and freedom as I spun in the studio. I felt connected to my body and that special energy when I danced. It is mysterious, and yet, mesmerizing. That feminine side of me starts to unfold! I owe both teachers a big “THANK YOU” for giving me such an inspiration and a safe space to do so.

My quest for femininity did not stop there. I was still very curious. How to “ooze” that energy out in my daily life? I continued to ponder. Then, I found Laura Doyle's 6 Intimacy Skills! To sum it all, it is Surrendering!

Surrendering is not about being a doormat or giving up my power. It is about surrendering my fear and placing faith over fear, trusting myself and enabling myself to bring out the best in me, and that is both fascinating and empowering!

Nowadays, my husband finds me attractive and feminine once again. Sometimes, he teases and asks me what witchcraft I have been practising. I reply with a smile "I'm practising surrendering". 😊

Want to unleash that feminine side of yours? Come and join me in this quest for femininity!

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